


What happened to us?

by Legendary-Destiel (Legendary_Royalty)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x03 poetry, Cas' POV, Dean's POV, I mean really, M/M, cas walked away, coda 15x03 the rupture, dean can be so rude, destiel poem, hope never dies, inspired by 15x03 the rupture, my POV?, my destiel heart is bleeding, not really a coda, the rupture, there is, there is something left to say, they are really broken, they'll find back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 03:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21172340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendary_Royalty/pseuds/Legendary-Destiel
Summary: This is a poem, to help a sad Destiel-heart dealing with the "Destiel-breakup" in 15x03 "the rupture". It starts with Cas' POV, then we're going to Dean's POV, and then, some mixture of both and... my feelings.





	What happened to us?

**Author's Note:**

> I have these songs running in infinite loop through my head these days:
> 
> U2 - Every breaking wave  
Freya Ridings - You mean the world to me
> 
> Listen to these songs if you like... read the lyrics... read this poem... and cry like I did.

**What happened to us?**

* * *

What happened to  
_Don’t ever change?_  
Because I can see us moving on too fast  
Or maybe we are taking some steps back  
Stumbling into the mess of your deeds  
I barely know what’s right or wrong  
As my faith in you has clearly blurred my vision

What happened to  
_I’d rather have you, cursed or not?_  
Because I still feel way too lost  
Turning from one failure to another  
Steadily like ocean waves, breaking on the shore  
Although predictable for you  
Obviously veiled before my eyes

Where did I go wrong?  
Of all the fateful paths I’ve chosen  
Everyone lead straight to you  
I really thought it would be my destiny  
But now I see, maybe you are right  
Maybe, we had no other choice

Where did I fail the test  
My father imposed on me  
What if I just tried a little harder  
Not to be torn apart that easy  
Too long trapped in the belief  
That one day, you could be saved for good

Now things have changed, and so did I  
Still cursed and broken, battle weary  
Yet a little wiser  
So before I vent my wrath on you  
I had to draw the line  
Not a second longer I can look you in the eye

You don’t need me anymore  
And my faith in you is lost  
Just like I am dead to you  
  
This time we really went too far  
But…  
Is this really what we are?

***

What happened to  
_‘It’s good to have you back’_  
Because my heart still hurts too much  
When I don’t feel your presence next to me  
I’m not a saint, never have been, never will  
In an act of painful helplessness  
I blame you for everything, pushed it to the limit

What happened to  
_‘I need you’_  
Because I feel those words have been a lie  
Over and over, since years, pretending  
That this is the most significant line  
When things got tight, unbearable  
But it never came out right  
Like all the other countless prayers

Where did I go wrong?  
I can’t retrace my oh-so-smart decisions  
The ones that were alright  
And so much more turned out to be so wrong  
There is no silver lining for my shipwrecked soul  
So I have to deal with it, the turning of the tide

Where did I fail the test  
My father cursed upon me  
Saving people, every day, it changed me  
Doesn’t feel like a damn win  
Because you turned your back on me  
And this time, I fucked it up completely

The wounds I have, can not be healed  
Not by you, not anyone  
See, told ya all along  
The scars have been engraved  
On my heart and in my soul  
No way I ever could be really saved

Yeah, I wasted it again  
Like every godforsaken thing  
Never felt so dead inside

This time we really went too far  
But…  
Is this really what we are?

***

What happened to  
Those words we never said  
The ones that were clearly washed away  
Because you and me  
We’re just too broken to reset

What happened to  
Those glances we used to share so naturally  
The ones that beamed us to another damn dimension  
Because you and me  
We were surely meant to be

And the more we try it  
To deny it  
This, our story, shattered into a million pieces  
From profound bound to this rupture  
The more we need to believe  
That we went this way  
Because we chose it on our own

Corrupted by the weight upon our hearts  
It makes it so much harder  
But look back now, turn back time  
Can’t you hear those pounding hearts  
Yes – they were really ours  
And it doesn’t matter how many scars we have  
How many deaths we had to die

Don’t you turn away this time

Because…

Dammit,

There _is_ something left to say  
The only words that ever counted

Ever to be true

_Castiel, I love you._

_***_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm feeling a little better now, I wrote it from my soul.  
How are you guys doing after this episode? Feel welcome to tell me what you think and always know: I really appreciate your feedback! This always makes my days!! :)
> 
> If you wanna chat on tumblr, I'm [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


End file.
